Unspoken
by WriteOutMyHeart
Summary: Will and Tessa, Tessa and Jem.
1. Unspoken Words

Will rolled over on his back, the sheets swathed around his waist, but he was too lazy to pull them up and shield himself from the cold air in his bedroom. He heard gentle footsteps coming down the hall. He knew it was Tessa, from the fluttering steps she took. He realized she had walked past her room, and he muffled a curse. Of course she was going to see Jem. When Will had misled Tessa into believing he had only wanted her for her, erm, womanly uses, he had practically driven her into Jem's arms.

The look in her eyes was imprinted on his brain; the sad, lonely eyes, wanting to understand him, but couldn't find the hope to try and help anymore. But most of all was the love he saw in her eyes. The love that made her eyes shine, and the pain that made them glisten with tears, had penetrated his walls more than anything in his entire life. Even through everything in his life, the battles, the blood, the scars, and the casualties; never had something hurt him as much as the love and the anguish in her eyes. Suddenly, anger made the blood pound in his ears, making him impulsive.

He jumped out of bed, and opened to door with speed that only a Shadowhunter could obtain. Before he knew what had happened, he had Tessa pinned to the wall just outside Jem's door, his hands on either side of her, pressed against the wall. Her warm, sweet breath tickled his face, and he couldn't bear it any longer.

"Will, what on Earth are you-", he silenced her with his lips claiming hers, in a swift, desperate, movement. She resisted at first, but slowly melted into him. He was gentle, trying not to scare her away from him. Without warning, he deepened the kiss, a newfound desire boiling up from inside him. She pulled away, her hands on his chest, trying to get him away from her.

"No, Will, this is wrong. We can't be…", she stopped short, leaning her forehead against his chest, and quiet sobs escaping her throat, making her shoulders tremble. She took her hands from where they rested on his chest, and pressed them against his lips. Tessa looked up; the tears in her eyes ripped him into oblivion. Carefully, he leaned forward once again. This time, she leaned forward as well, capturing his lips. He missed kissing her, though he'd only kissed her twice before.

They were unlike any other girls he'd kissed before. But, the kiss was desperate, and lonely. She was vying for his attention this time, although she'd been avoiding him over the last couple of days. She pressed against him, trying to share some of his warmth. Will reached up and caressed her cheek, and found that it was burning, but her arms were as cold as blocks of ice. He responded to her body, pulling Tessa closer to himself, indulging his maddening urge to be as close at hand as possible with her.

Tessa broke away, stopping for breath, and leaned her forehead against Will's. He took in the sight before him. Tessa was with him with swollen lips and tousled hair, and with her beautiful, shining gray eyes. He could only dream of having someone like her with him at this very moment. She smiled, as if reading his mind, and leaned forward again. He kissed her once, gently, sucking at her bottom lip, and she gasped in surprise, which made him grin and want to go further. But, he stopped himself. He took her hands and brought them up to his lips once more, before turning away.

"Wait, Will, where are you going?" she almost yelled.

"I'm rather exhausted, Tess. I suggest you get some rest yourself." The sting from his words was evident, as he saw the pain return to her eyes, and a stone dropped into his stomach. He'd done it again. But... he didn't have any other options. He had to protect her from the truth. Tessa balled her hands and into fists and looked him straight in the eyes,

"You think you're so strong, William, but you don't realize that sometimes you have to let others in if you truly want someone to love you." She gasped a little, trying to prevent a sob, or something else, "Will, I would love you if you'd only let me see _you,_ Will. Not the William façade you put on every day to make everyone think you're alright, when you're breaking inside! You think I don't know anything about you, but you're wrong! Whenever I see you, I feel this desperate need to be by your side, but then you start talking and I can hardly stand to be around you!" She shook her head sadly, as if trying to accept something intangible, "I love you, Will. But you won't let me." With that she turned on her heel, covering her mouth with her hand as she tried with much effort to muffle her crying.

Will stood in the hallway until he realized that she had disappeared into her room, and the quiet crying had subsided. He opened the door to Jem's room, quietly, checking to see if Jem was asleep. Jem stood in front of the door, his fist against the wall.

"Leave, William."

Will backed away from the door and made his way back to his room, shocked by what he'd just witnessed. All of it. Tessa loved him… Jem loved Tessa…

This… could be very, _very _bad.


	2. Penetrating Gaze

Tessa's eyes snapped open, and she sighed, rubbing them furiously. They were lined with crust from dry tears, and they itched. She sat up, and looked around her room, the bleak sunlight shining through the window, but not making the room seem any homier. Lately, she'd been feeling… out of place. Not belonging. The scene from last night washed into her mind like persistent waves crashing ferociously on the rocks of the shore. She kicked her feet, trying to rid herself of it, but to no avail. Tessa sighed and got out of bed, her bare legs shivering from the morning chill.

She threw her fuzzy bathrobe over her nightclothes and plodded down the hallway tiredly, turning when she came to the door into Jem's room. She turned the door knob quietly, and came in a softly as she could, closing the door silently behind herself. She tiptoed to his bedside, and he was laying on his side, in the fetal position. She drew a chair next to the bed and sat quietly, just watching him. The soft light fell onto his in such a way that made her reach forward and brush his cheek with the back of her hand. Tessa inhaled sharply; his face was as soft as a baby's. She slid off the chair and onto her knees, getting closer, resting her hand on his forehead and trailing her finger down his neck, smiling when he sighed in his sleep. A happy, contented sigh. He turned over slightly and she saw his face, the face of an angel in his rest. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, saying a prayer in her mind, when he grabbed her wrist with Shadowhunter reflexes.

"Good morning, Tessa." Tessa drew back, utterly embarrassed with herself.

"Jem- I… I didn't think you would wake." She replied, cursing herself silently for coming up with such an awful excuse. However, he smiled gently, and kissed her fingertips, which made her gasp. She drew her hand away quickly, quicker than she meant to, and his eyes drew away from her.

"I apologize for frightening you, Miss Gray." He was interrupted with a fit of coughing, and he saw Tessa's hand slowly creep toward the silver box on his night table. "No, Tessa, it's alright. Just the cold." She nodded, concern in her eyes. Did he know what had happened last night? Had Wi-… no, she dare not even_ think_ his name. She stood up and shivered, when she realized the window was open, the light blue curtains billowing gently, but a cold, foreboding breeze coming from behind them, despite the peaceful look. She clicked her tongue, "That's why you're so cold, Jem. The window is open." She closed the window and pulled the curtains shut, and turned around, to find that his eyes were trained on her. His washed out eyes, though beautiful, unnerved her, and she walked towards the door,

"Well, if that will be all then, Jem, I'll-"

"What is it about me that repels you so, Tessa?"

She paused "I beg your pardon?"

He stared at the ceiling, not meeting her gaze, "Why is it that when I try to get close to you, you pull away, and yet you are always coming to me, like you want me to?" he asked honestly. Tessa didn't know what to say, her heart was in her throat, and pounding a million times a minute. He looked at her, but she dare not meet his gaze head-on, for fear that he would see right through her with his penetrating eyes. She shook her head and silently flitted from the room, like a ghost that had never actually been there in the first place.


	3. PLEASE READ

Dear Readers(so far),

Thanks for being so supportive! I am going to try and publish a new chapter every weekend, or so. Everyone that favorite or put this story on their alerts, thank you so much! It's definitely been inspiring my creativity and desire to write more! Continue to review, and I'll continue to write

Love,

Elena


	4. Fragile Beauty

**I think I almost teared up a little when I wrote this chapter…**

**Anyway, I know I've been super inactive lately, but I PROMISE that I will be posting more often! I PROMISE :DDDD **

**So, this chapter has been rewritten, mulled over, thought about, thesaurus-ed about 17 times, and I wonder if it was even worth it. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. I wish I could've had a better outcome, though! **

**Read, enjoy, review!**

Will sat pensively in the love seat, placed wisely in the sitting room. The love seat was facing the window that looked out on to the bustling streets below. Gray morning light was shimmering, like facetted light shining through a diamond. Will's blue eyes were even bluer against the cold, gray background. He stood up slowly, coming towards the window reluctantly, but still with a purpose. His hand reached out towards the window, and he blinked when the glass drew the warmth out of his hand. Will looked outside with genuine curiosity. The sky with filled with metallic-gray clouds, accumulating and casting a bleak yet comforting light on the Earth below. It was almost as if the clouds were hiding the angels, and all we could see was the bit of light hidden behind the clouds.

The thought was tossed aside as soon as white tufts of snow began to fall from the clouds. Will's breath caught at the fragile beauty of them as one made its home on the window. His eyes widened and glistened with a child-like innocence, so much that the corners of his lips turned up slightly.

"I've never seen you make that face before, Will."

Will whipped around suddenly to see Charlotte standing not ten feet from him. He'd been so engrossed in the silent and anguished magnificence of the life of a snowflake that he hadn't even heard her come into the room. He plopped back down into the love seat and watched Charlotte out of the corner of his eye and she made her way to a chair a few feet from him. There was a wistful look in her eye, and she smiled gently at him. He huffed and turned his head away from her. Will heard her sigh gently, and she spoke quietly,

"I wonder if this is how it feels for a mother to watch her own child grow up."

He stayed silent.

"Most likely not. You three aren't exactly 'average' when it comes to lifestyle."

"Why are you here Charlotte?" Will interrupted her sharply. She drew back a bit, surprised, but not surprised at all at the same time. She took a deep breath, and Will braced himself for what was coming. He suddenly wished he'd never come to this room. _No. You don't wish that. _His subconscious told him. It was correct. He would give anything just to relive that moment over and over, with the snow falling from the sky, nothing to disturb him.

"I want to be closer with you, Will." she said, "You, Jem, Jessamine. I want to be closer to all of you. I've never had children of my own, and I don't think I ever plan on having any, but you three are the closest I've had to children."

"Charlotte, I don't-"he interjected, but she continued on.

"No! Will, let me speak. You go off fighting battles and then come back wounded and bleeding your life out, and I can't help but feel maternally towards you all. Sometimes you can be a severe sore in the neck, Will, but you have your moments. I've seen them, Jem's seen them…"

Will sighed, waiting for her to carry on.

"Tessa has seen them."

He turned around sharply, biting his tongue.

"You can't help but genuinely care about others, Will. I've seen it. You pretend that you don't care, when really, I know that something is eating you up on the inside, and you lash out at others to cover your own pain."

Will stood up again and walked to the window, staring out. Only this time, instead of a youthful innocence shining in his eyes, his eyes made Charlotte inhale sharply.

His eyes were filled with sorrow and longing, like he was seconds away from breaking down from the inside-out. There was so much pain in them, that it caused a single tear to skate down Charlotte's cheek, which soon became two. Then three, and then a whole waterfall of pain and anguish. Will turned to look at her, surprised at her sudden sobbing. She was wiping her eyes constantly, trying to rid herself of the evident weakness. Will walked over slowly, and reached a hand forward, but quickly drew back. She couldn't see his face. They stood shoulder to shoulder, and she could hear his breathe.

"Thank you. For crying for me."

Charlotte stared into space while he walked out the room. What she had seen in Will's eyes, and what she had witnessed.

Will was like a snowflake.

He had a fragile beauty about him that could only be reached when one opens their heart.


	5. Yesterday

I know, I know, it's been too long since my last update. Don't kill me!

I hope this chapter makes up for it, though!

Thank you to my avid readers who have inspired me to continue (:

Disclaimer: I do not own The Infernal Devices series, sadly.

Jem leaned back into his chair, releasing a breath. Because of everything that was going on, his fatigue was catching up to him. He looked down into the cup of Earl Grey tea in his pallid hands, the surface of the murky liquid echoing with the movements of his hands. The door to the seating room clicks shut, and Jem looks up to see Will standing there, a peculiar look upon his face. Jem stood politely, "Shall I get you some tea as well, William?"

"No, thank you." He replied resignedly. He took a seat across from Jem, his hands folded precariously, as if he would shatter into pieces at any moment.

"Will, are you-"

"Do you love her?" Will interrupted him brusquely.

Jem was bewildered at Will's sudden inquiry. But at the same time, he knew exactly what he meant. He was talking about Tessa. However, to Jem, this was a subject that was to be evaded at all costs.

"I'm not sure what you mean, William. Tessa is, essentially, a part of the family. We all love her."

There was a thud and Jem's tea splashed over and formed a puddle on the rich hickory table that Charlotte had picked out especially for this room (AN: so that she could coordinate with the curtains:D). Raising his eyes from the table, he saw Will had his hand wrapped tightly into a fist, resting on the table.

"You know what I mean, Jem."

"If you really wish to know, then, yes, I do love her."

The tightened fist relaxed visibly and he sat back down, his shoulders hunched and tense. He looked up at me, and his William façade was back on track. Jem chose this moment to stand up and make his way towards the large doors into the main hallway. Will watched him leave the room intently, wondering where he was off to, but unwilling to follow.

As it just so happened, Jem made his way up to Tessa's room, and found her with her nose buried in that old Shadowhunter book Will had given her months ago. She hardly even noticed him walk in and take a seat across the room. Jem smiled faintly as he studied the intricacy of the beauty in her face. Her sharp gray eyes that were always shining with curiosity, bouncing with light and warmth. Her soft brown hair, like ocean waves, cascading down her back.

Finally, she looked up at noticed Jem for the first time. Before she could say anything, Jem was on his feet and making his way towards Tessa. Tessa sat up in her chair, her hair curling gently behind her ear, but all Jem could see was Tessa's face, mainly, her lips. He placed his hands on either armrest of the chair and leaned forward, claiming her lips with his own. The world was spinning for a moment.

But only for a moment.

Tessa drew back, "Jem, what are you… why are you.."

Jem could feel her breath tickling his cheeks, and he saw her face tinged pink. Her eyelashes were batting against his skin, and he couldn't breathe. Just the very _scent _of her put him in a trance.

The eyelashes were wet, and she let go a ragged breath.

"I can't do this Jem. I can't choose."

Jem pulled back slightly. Perhaps part of what made her even more irresistible is that she hadn't even the slightest inkling of how beautiful she was. He placed his hand gently on her cheek, and she leaned into his palm. A trickle of a tear ran into the palm of his hand, and he kissed her forehead in response.

"I can't take this anymore Jem."

Her voice became very strong just then. She stood up, pushing my hand away from her, and began to gather up her things.

"Tessa, what are you doing?" Jem asked cautiously.

She stood up straight and looked him directly in the eyes, something glittering there. A newfound strength.

"I'm leaving, Jem. And I'm not coming back."

…..

OOOH don't hate me please.

I will send my apologies to Team Jem Carstairs, because I deceived her and told her this would be a pro JemxTess chapter. sorry D:

Anyway, I was anticipating posting this chapter, so I got all antsy and couldn't wait anymore…. So I just posted it.

In the long run, you didn't have to wait a whole other day.

Thanks for all of the great feedback!

Don't forget to review!

(If you review, cookies will fly out of your computer screen and into your loving arms!)

:D

Many thanks,

WOH


	6. Don't Look Back

You know, I never thought I would actually get around to writing a _real _FF, I just thought that every now and then I'd write a fluffy little something and be done with it. So thank you to everyone who has helped me to push forward with this FF :D

Now, for the long awaited for chapter that will make up for my lazy slack-age!

Hope you enjoy!

…..

_Tessa._

_What a curious girl._

She was flitting about the Institute, gathering up her things, desperately hoping to go unnoticed. She treaded softly into the library, her many books that she borrowed from them cradled in her arms, like precious treasures. She gazed with nostalgia at the book resting on top, _A Tale of Two Cities._ She raised her arm to place it high on the shelf where it belonged, but she hesitated. No one would miss it, would they? But she shook the thought of pilfering these people of the only remotely normal books they own. Suddenly, a memory flashed in front of her.

"_One must always be careful of books. For words have the power to change us."_

"_I'm sure a book has ever changed me," said Will. "Well, there is one volume that promises to teach one how to turn oneself into an entire flock of sheep…" _

"_Well I want novels. Books are for reading, not turning oneself into livestock."_

"_What book are you looking for?"_

"_Do you have _The Little Women_? Or _A Tale of Two Cities?"

"_That silly thing? Men running around getting their heads chopped off for love? Absurd."_

At the time, Tessa had been so naïve. She fluttered about the library, returning books to their homes nestle in between two others, cozy and safe.

As she was about to place another book back, she paused at the thought.

_Cozy and safe. _

Tessa couldn't remember a time when she had felt both simultaneously.

Quickly, she shook the thought from her head.

Guilt slowly crept into her mind as she recalled Jem's face when she announced her departure, and she shuddered inwardly. Guilt was one of the things she hated more than anything in the world. It was like running over a box of puppies on the road.

. . .

Try not to think about that analogy too much.

Tessa slung her bag over her shoulder, containing the few belongings she had with her to begin with, and found herself paused where she stood. It was as if just being in a library made her feel at home.

But she knew she had to leave, so she faced the doors, and did not look back.

Would not look back.


End file.
